wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
