I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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