fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me I should be a condom model.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
