I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
