brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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