I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
