normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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