I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
