I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize