My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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