You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
