Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is the high leading the old right now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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