I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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