I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
