if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
