i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
