Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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