i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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