just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
