i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
