Whod you bang
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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