so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
