I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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