I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i now understand why vodka
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
