i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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