so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
