I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
