He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
