last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
