The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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