And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
