I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You made out with two different species that night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
