i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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