Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
people are starting to question the shark bite story
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
