sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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