I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
