She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
