Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
