Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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