Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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