she was so not down for the gang bang
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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