So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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