I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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