one two three fourrrrnication!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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