i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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