Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
