After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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