Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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