I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
