my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
