About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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