escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
