Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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