If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
