I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
