We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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