why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
