It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
