McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
